Wednesday, August 9, 2017

All About Macy

It has been constantly on my mind that if I don't get this down soon, I'm going to forget it.  So here it is... the story of my sweet Macy Elizabeth.

Justin and I knew that we wanted 5 kids (translation, I knew I wanted 5 kids and I talked Justin into it).  I also knew that this was my last shot at getting the girl that I always wanted, because I knew Justin would not be up for having another kid.  I had come to terms that number 5 just might be another boy, and I would love him more than words could describe, as I have with all my sweet boys, but I was going to give it my all regardless just so I know that I "tried". So I researched out all the ways to get a girl and I had decided the best way was to really keep track of my temperature and really time it right with when I actually ovulated.  Typically, Justin and I have been really blessed to get pregnant fairly easy.  But Macy proved us wrong this time around.  When I was not pregnant after the first month, I was sure it would not be more than 2 months of trying before I saw that positive pregnancy test.  But I ended up taking my temperature and ovulation tests for nearly a year before we finally got that + test.  The last month we "tried" for a girl, I told Justin, if it does not happen this round, then we are going back to the old way of doing things!  Time was running out too because we knew we would be moving at the end of fellowship year and I did not want to be moving in the middle of having a baby (which ended up happening anyway).  

In September of 2016 Justin had an interview lined up in Missouri.  A good friend of ours watched our boys so I could attend with Justin.  It happened to fall over his birthday and a few days earlier, I found out that I was finally pregnant.  The morning of the 24th, Justin's birthday, I got up and took another pregnancy test and showed Justin that we were pregnant for the last time!  

As most of you know, I get pretty sick when I'm pregnant.  It usually starts at week 5 and goes any where from 15-22 weeks.  I was less than 4 weeks along and knew sickness was just around the corner if I did not miscarry.  Soon after we got back from our weekend away, I started to feel sick when I hit the 4 week mark and totally felt jipped that I did not get more days to prepare.  I did not just get sick...I got siiiiiick.  There were days I was throwing up blood from throwing up so much.  ANY smell that was strong would set me off.  The only thing I could stomach was sipping on ice water, and that even came up most days.  There was one day in particular that I literally felt like someone put a huge suction cup on my chest and was sucking the life out of me.  I was miserable.  I lost almost 15 lbs and just felt like total crud. But there was this one day that I very distinctly remember.  I was laying on the couch like I did everyday...all day...and for a split moment I felt a relief from being sick.  It lasted about 30 seconds, but it felt heavenly.  After that day, those moments got longer and longer.  By 15 weeks, it had pretty much passed and I felt like I had come from a hellish place I never wanted to go back to! After that, I had a handful of time that sickness would hit me out of no where and I had to find a toilet super fast (one time was at Kroger in the produce section, not my best moment, thankfully I did make it to the bathroom though). 
This is where I lived... on my couch from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed.  Literally waiting for the days to pass. 
Carter kept me entertained with his drawings from kindergarten. Translation: I love you mom. "I am sick"
My Mommy is sick and she is pregnant. 

With Justin being in the Radiology field, we are lucky to get access to ultrasound machines early in my pregnancies. We found out with Ryland at 13 weeks so we thought we'd do the same with Macy.  We went in and to our surprise, we did not see the little tiny weenie we have always found so quickly on other ultrasounds.  But we also did not see any sign of it being a girl.  We left convinced that it was just too early and that we would not find out for another few weeks. We tried again at week 15 and again had the same results.  I was sure it was a boy and was not going to get any hopes up.  At this point, Justin was beginning to doubt his Radiology skills and wanted a blood test.  Did you know you can order these on Amazon... love that Amazon!  As we were waiting for the results, I had an appointment with my OB.  She too was very curious and brought in an ultrasound machine for an impromptu peek.  That little turkey of a baby had her hand LITERALLY in between her legs right where we needed to see!

My first day out of the house in months was to Tyler to check out where we were moving to. I was sure I was not going to make the whole day with out puking, but to my great surprise, I made it and it felt nice to get out of the house.

Starting to show!

My wonderful friend, Ashley, gave me all her maternity clothes, shipped all the way from Utah!

On December 31st, I was flying back from seeing my brother get pinned Colonel in the Air Force in D.C.  I had to get up super early and once I got home, I totally crashed on my bed.  Justin was on-call but got home a little early and came in and woke me up with much excitement.  He told me the results were in from the blood test (they send you an email).  We opened it together and read in complete shock: 

I quickly went out and bought girl clothes and just cried in the girl section. 

We both sat in our bed and cried.  I was in complete shock because I was certain that I was just not that lucky!  What the what?!  I was finally going to get a girl?!  I spent the rest of the day calling people and telling them the good news.  This baby was by far the most fun to announce.  I feel like everyone was rooting for us to have a girl, and to share this with people was just down right fun! 

The rest of pregnancy crept along as we got our house ready to sell, decided where we were going to move and we started shopping for a new house in Tyler.  

This pregnancy was hard.  Everything about it was harder.  Typically I don't mind being pregnant.  In fact, after the sick part is done, I actually enjoy it.  Not this time.  I was uncomfortable from about week 13 to the end.  Heartburn was out of control, I had horrid issues with swelling, I had braxton hicks from week 15 and clear through the end, I could not sleep but yet was always tired and I just felt completely drained a good majority of the time. Also, Macy was a BUSY baby.  She moved ALL THE TIME. There is something to be said about having a baby later in life.  It get's harder and harder and having a baby at 35 was NOT fun. 

It was on this particular Sunday that I learned, wearing heels to church was just not going to happen anymore this pregnancy. 

Nap time with mom.
After a long day of house hunting, my ankles were done. 

I could not wear my ring any more either. 

Not sure what it is about a large Sonic Ocean Water with extra coconut, but YUM! I could not get enough of it and would stop by after every OB appointment. 

It was so fun to start shopping for girl stuff.  I got this dress for her blessing.  

My birthday... I was 38 weeks along and so ready to be done. 

My friend Nadene Minyard gave me a wonderful shower.  I was so lucky to be spoiled by so many friends!  
 Judy Luther, me, Brooke Morlet, Katherine Madsen. 
 Emily Charter, Judy Luther, Glaucia Lind, Leslie Oates
 Shauna Lee and Emily Johnson
 Jill Johnson, me and Brook Morlet
Glaucia Lind, me, Nadene Minyard, Katherine Madsen, Glaucia's mom.

 Surrounded by so many wonderful women!
I got so spoiled at my shower!

 Inconsistent contractions were the norm for me after about 34 weeks.  I'd get them for an hour and then they would go away.  There were a few times I was sure labor was on it's way, but nope, just constant braxton hicks.
Until finally, on June 7th (my due date was the 9th. Side note, every time I have gone into labor on my own, it's always been 2 days before my due date. Weird, right?!) , I was playing the board game Sorry with Carter one morning and at exactly 9am I had a pretty hard contraction.  It was so painful that I decided to time it and see if another one would follow.  About 7 minutes later, another one hit.  They got more and more consistent and we decided that sense I had a Dr. appointment at 10am, that I would go there first before we went to the hospital, just to make sure it was not more false labor. 
Dr. Kurian checked me and sure enough, I was at 6cm and in labor!  FINALLY!!!  

She told me to get to Baylor and she would meet me there to break my water and we'd get this baby out today!!!  I was SO done being pregnant and SO excited to meet our baby girl!

My mom and me went to Baylor and met up with Justin. Soon after I was hooked up and got my epidural, I was ready to have my water broken.  My contractions were pretty consistent, but by the time my Dr. showed up around noon, I had not progressed as we both thought I would.  I was still at a 6 so she broke my water in hopes that I would start progressing more after that.   

And then we waited... and waited... and waited.... Around 2pm they decided to push pitocine to help my contractions get stronger. 

At 5pm I started to get chills and my temperature started to rise.  I could not stop shaking and was freezing.  My epidural started to pool on one side and I was feeling all the contractions for over an hour....OUCH!  They tried to give me Tylenol to bring my temp down but it was not working.  I was still not dilating and soon after, my Dr had to leave to get her kids from scout camp.  I was handed off to another Dr. and he was concerned that I had not progressed all day. At this point I asked Justin for a blessing and I too was saying many silent prayers that things would go well.  As I listened to the blessing, I try to find comfort in his words, but nothing came.  I felt nothing and only felt more uneasiness.  The Dr then decided to stop all pitocin and give me a break for an hour or so before turning it up high again.  Kind of like a new jump start. They pushed more Tylenol because I had a fever of 102 and finally it started to come down. They restarted the pitocin around 8pm and by 10:30 pm I was finally at 10 cm. I started to push and nothing was happening.  I had one of those mirrors to see what was happening and I could not see her moving down at all.  I pushed for about 30 minutes and was getting so tired and frustrated that nothing was happening when I pushed. She still felt so high up in my ribs and was not going down!  The Dr. then came in to help out.  He stuck his fingers up to the baby's head and that's when I started to hemorrhage. Blood poured out of me and he immediately stopped and told me we had to do a c-section. I was completely shocked and hardly had a reaction until he left the room.  Then I totally lost it.  How in the world could I have 4 normal delivery's and then have to have a c-section on my last child?!  I had truly been craving that moment when you push out your baby and they lay them on your chest.  Especially since I knew this would be our last, I wanted to relish in that moment for one last time... but no... I had to go be cut open and robbed of that moment.  I was devastated and felt completely defeated. 

They wheeled me back to the operating room and worked quickly to get her out.  The nurses were so sweet and wiped my tears throughout the whole thing.  They pushed some other drugs in me and I started to get so tired.  All my efforts were going into not falling asleep at this moment.  I did not want to be asleep when she came out.  I was not going to miss her first cry!  As they cut me open and started to pull her out, one nurse started pushing on my stomach. She pushed so hard that she made me throw up right as Macy was coming out.  (gross side note, I then had vomit in my hair for the next 24 hrs).  

Macy was finally here!  Born at 12:13 am on June 8th.  She was 8lbs 11oz and 20 inches long.  My biggest baby!  Her cry was loud and strong and the first thing I asked Justin was if SHE was really a SHE!  He was telling me what she looked like and how much hair she had.  We had decided that if she was blond, we'd name her Katie, but if she had brown hair it would be Macy.  Justin immediately told me she looked like a Macy (high five to me because that's what I was routing for :) 

Justin finally brought her to me and I remember she smelled SO good and that she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen (probably because she was lacking in a cone head from not coming out the other way:).  My mom was there and got to see the whole thing too and I was so glad she was there to hold my hand while Justin attended to Macy.  It was a very bitter sweet moment for me.  I lost 3 units of blood in all and we later found out that my placenta was 30-40% detaching and it was a very sickly looking placenta with sickly calcium pockets all over it.  We finally made it to my post partum room at 4:30 am.  There were two things I remember Justin telling me before we both crashed.  One, that when he was giving me a priesthood blessing, that he knew that I was going to have a c-section and that he had to be the strong one during the whole delivery, for which I am so very grateful because I was a mess and do not know what I would have done with out him.  Second, that it scared him to death and that we were never going to go through that again, to which I agreed.

Waiting in recovery, it was about 3 am and we were both exhausted.  

Checking out all that hair!
First family photo...Sacks, party of SEVEN! 
Since I had the fever thing going on, I had to be pumped with IV antibiotics for 24 hrs.  My feet were balloons for over a week!
Ryland kept referring to Macy as "My Macy".  All he wanted was for her to come to his house.
Daddy Daughter moment.

 Start em' young...GO COUGS!

"worth the wait"
Time to go home!

Recovery from a c-section is a BEAST!  I would not wish it on anyone.  I was in constant pain for 5 weeks and could not sleep in any other position other than on my back for 6 weeks.  Some days I felt like knives were cutting me open and my skin around my incision was constantly sore.  It's now been 8 weeks and it's still tender but totally livable now.  Sneezing and coughing still hurt, but it's still so much better than it was! 

We love our Macy girl.  I'm still in shock that we have a daughter and that my boys have a sister.  She is such a good baby and has been sleeping through the night this whole last week from 9pm-7:30am.  All along the last few years I have had moments of confirmation that I would be blessed with a daughter, but never dared said anything to anymore for fear that it would not be true.  We all have things we pray for and desire from the Lord, this was one for me. I can't explain why this desire was so strong for me, but it was a struggle for me to see those with daughters of their own.  I LOVE my boys.  I really truly love having 4 boys and there is nothing in this world sweeter to me than my little guys that love their mom.  But from this whole journey of having kids this has taught me to trust more in the Lord and the blessings he is willing to grant us if we have faith in Him.  And that's not to say that we will always be granted what we want, but I sure do feel like the luckiest mom in the world to be blessed with the children that I have, every single one of them!

Meeting Grandpa!
Nap time with Daddy.
Grandma is the best at putting babies to sleep!

First bath! 

All cleaned up!

First Sunday
Snuggle time with Mom.
Blessing Day!

Catching those first smiles

my FIVE kids
Macy is now 8 weeks old and we are all just in love with her!  She is the perfect ending to our eternal family and we are so happy she is finally with us!